Third Birthdays
A story as old as the Bible is told anew.
On Saturday night, Bridgett called because Jacob wanted to talk to me. She mentioned that Jacob had been talking about "turning 3 years old" and that he "wants to go to Chuck-E-Cheese." She told me she wasn't going to have his birthday party there because "it's too expensive," but she would "take him to Chuck-E-Cheese next week or something." I didn't say anything, but something gnawed at me.
It all came together tonight. I awoke from a dream; I understood what gnawed upon me. I got up to pen these thoughts.
On June 13, 2002, Myles turned 3 years old. Bridgett and I had been dating for a few months. I recall us driving around while she talked about Myles' second birthday party. She's a fanatic about birthday parties -- it was something I never understood.
Bridgett told me about how much money she had spent on Myles' second birthday party. If memory serves, she rented an expensive Buzz Lightyear outfit. She'll tell you, she loves birthday parties. Even in remembrance, Bridgett was animated by the joy Myles felt.
As we rode around in her Suzuki, she told me about how Myles had eaten his cake, by grabbing handfuls and stuffing it into his mouth, and then just burying his face into the cake to gorge. She has pictures of his face smeared with bluish-green icing.
Bridgett was happy planning his third birthday party. She was excited thinking about the joy Myles would experience. For Myles' party, she had it at Chuck-E-Cheese in Lawrence. The same place we took Myles and Jacob to a half-dozen times later; and the same place, I took Jacob to after our divorce, when I visited him.
Myles' party probably cost her $10-15 per person. The McGinnis clan was there, Tina showed up sans children (as I recall), Margie was there, Marty didn't show up because of me, the Lairds showed up, and some others showed up but I don't recall their names. I recall Bridgett was bitter that many of her friends (like Robyn) and Myles' friends from day care didn't show up.
Later, her friends wouldn't show up for her thirtieth birthday party either. For that party, I watched Myles and Jacob, so she could go out and play with friends that wouldn't show up. Ask her, she'll tell you how angry and bitter she was.
Anyway, Bridgett was surprised when I told her I would go. She knew I didn't want anything to do with Jamie, for I was jealous of their past relationship and their on-going friendship. But I went. I don't recall Jamie showing up.
I spent most of my time watching or staying with Myles; he had a grand time running from one end of the place to the other. He enjoyed dancing in front of the camera, so he could see himself on the projected display, or dancing with the animated band of critters playing oft-repeated songs. Most of all Myles enjoyed darting about. He was very happy. We were happy for him. Afterwards, I recall hauling bundles of presents (Bridgett called it "loot") to her car.
When Myles turned 3 years old, Bridgett was working as a secretary making roughly $14 per hour. My guess is, she spent over half her weekly take home pay on Myles' party. Jacob turns 3 years old on February 12th.
On Saturday night, she told me Jacob talks about his upcoming birthday. Jacob told Bridgett what he wanted to do for his birthday. But Bridgett is not going to do that because "it's too expensive." Six months after I paid her fifty thousand dollars, she tells me what our son wants to do for his third birthday party is "too expensive."
More than once, Bridgett said to me, "With Myles it was different … it was special … it was all new." She was talking about giving birth to both her sons.
When she reads these things, it will hurt her feelings, she'll become incensed with indignation, and she'll lash out. I do not care about her pain, for I have had plenty of my own to shed.
Along about this time, Bridgett moved to Portsmouth. I was staying in Greenland. When we found out she was pregnant, I rented and furnished a house for her. I didn't stay there. I thought it was inappropriate for Myles' sake for us to be living together, while we were not married, even though she was pregnant with my child. Truth be told, Myles didn't want me there.
Even before Jacob was born, I told her, "You'll always favor Myles." She hated me for saying that.
Later, I recall her reading the Bible. She told me the story of biblical Jacob.
Esau and Jacob were Isaac's children. They were twins. Esau was the first-born. He thrust his arm from the womb, and a string was tied to his wrist to identify him as such. Later, Esau sold his birth right to Jacob for a bowl of stew. Much later, Jacob tricked their father into bestowing upon him the blessing Isaac intended to give Esau.
Later still, Jacob favored his youngest son, Joseph. His brothers sold Joseph into slavery. The brothers deceived Jacob by faking Joseph's death, for they were jealous of their father's devotion to their youngest brother.
Bridgett has told me on many occasions, "I'm like my father." And if you ask her, she will tell you -- and the bitterness of pain remembered resonates in her words -- how her father "favored Eddie over me."
As she tells it, Marty favored Eddie. Bridgett is like the one person she tells all she's like. Therefore, it was reasonable to conclude that Bridgett would favor one too. She always hated my reasoning.
Isaac favored Esau. Jacob favored Joseph. Marty favored Eddie. Bridgett favors Myles.
Myles' third birthday party was expensive and held at Chuck-E-Cheese. Jacob's third birthday party will be at her place, for what he wants is "too expensive."
You say, "Harrison, you proved nothing with this fable."
Perhaps, one day I'll tell you the story I call "Mommy's Special Time." It's a wee story about two half-brothers. The older brother was taken to the amusement park, the lake, and the theatre, while the younger brother was taken to Wal*Mart.
Perhaps, one day I'll tell you the story I call "Two Fathers." It's a longer story -- its end is yet untold -- about a mother of two half-brothers. Their mother never interferes with her older son's relationship with his father; whereas for her younger son, she often did intrude, so she could exact her vengeance and to give vent to her malice and hatred of his father.
And oh yes, I have quite a tale of Jacob's second birthday party too. It's a quaint story I call "Melusine." But I'll save that one for another day.
Jacob is my first and only born, and I favor him. My blessings are on him, forever and always.
Del Anthony Harrison
January 16, 2006
On Saturday night, Bridgett called because Jacob wanted to talk to me. She mentioned that Jacob had been talking about "turning 3 years old" and that he "wants to go to Chuck-E-Cheese." She told me she wasn't going to have his birthday party there because "it's too expensive," but she would "take him to Chuck-E-Cheese next week or something." I didn't say anything, but something gnawed at me.
It all came together tonight. I awoke from a dream; I understood what gnawed upon me. I got up to pen these thoughts.
On June 13, 2002, Myles turned 3 years old. Bridgett and I had been dating for a few months. I recall us driving around while she talked about Myles' second birthday party. She's a fanatic about birthday parties -- it was something I never understood.
Bridgett told me about how much money she had spent on Myles' second birthday party. If memory serves, she rented an expensive Buzz Lightyear outfit. She'll tell you, she loves birthday parties. Even in remembrance, Bridgett was animated by the joy Myles felt.
As we rode around in her Suzuki, she told me about how Myles had eaten his cake, by grabbing handfuls and stuffing it into his mouth, and then just burying his face into the cake to gorge. She has pictures of his face smeared with bluish-green icing.
Bridgett was happy planning his third birthday party. She was excited thinking about the joy Myles would experience. For Myles' party, she had it at Chuck-E-Cheese in Lawrence. The same place we took Myles and Jacob to a half-dozen times later; and the same place, I took Jacob to after our divorce, when I visited him.
Myles' party probably cost her $10-15 per person. The McGinnis clan was there, Tina showed up sans children (as I recall), Margie was there, Marty didn't show up because of me, the Lairds showed up, and some others showed up but I don't recall their names. I recall Bridgett was bitter that many of her friends (like Robyn) and Myles' friends from day care didn't show up.
Later, her friends wouldn't show up for her thirtieth birthday party either. For that party, I watched Myles and Jacob, so she could go out and play with friends that wouldn't show up. Ask her, she'll tell you how angry and bitter she was.
Anyway, Bridgett was surprised when I told her I would go. She knew I didn't want anything to do with Jamie, for I was jealous of their past relationship and their on-going friendship. But I went. I don't recall Jamie showing up.
I spent most of my time watching or staying with Myles; he had a grand time running from one end of the place to the other. He enjoyed dancing in front of the camera, so he could see himself on the projected display, or dancing with the animated band of critters playing oft-repeated songs. Most of all Myles enjoyed darting about. He was very happy. We were happy for him. Afterwards, I recall hauling bundles of presents (Bridgett called it "loot") to her car.
When Myles turned 3 years old, Bridgett was working as a secretary making roughly $14 per hour. My guess is, she spent over half her weekly take home pay on Myles' party. Jacob turns 3 years old on February 12th.
On Saturday night, she told me Jacob talks about his upcoming birthday. Jacob told Bridgett what he wanted to do for his birthday. But Bridgett is not going to do that because "it's too expensive." Six months after I paid her fifty thousand dollars, she tells me what our son wants to do for his third birthday party is "too expensive."
More than once, Bridgett said to me, "With Myles it was different … it was special … it was all new." She was talking about giving birth to both her sons.
When she reads these things, it will hurt her feelings, she'll become incensed with indignation, and she'll lash out. I do not care about her pain, for I have had plenty of my own to shed.
Along about this time, Bridgett moved to Portsmouth. I was staying in Greenland. When we found out she was pregnant, I rented and furnished a house for her. I didn't stay there. I thought it was inappropriate for Myles' sake for us to be living together, while we were not married, even though she was pregnant with my child. Truth be told, Myles didn't want me there.
Even before Jacob was born, I told her, "You'll always favor Myles." She hated me for saying that.
Later, I recall her reading the Bible. She told me the story of biblical Jacob.
Esau and Jacob were Isaac's children. They were twins. Esau was the first-born. He thrust his arm from the womb, and a string was tied to his wrist to identify him as such. Later, Esau sold his birth right to Jacob for a bowl of stew. Much later, Jacob tricked their father into bestowing upon him the blessing Isaac intended to give Esau.
Later still, Jacob favored his youngest son, Joseph. His brothers sold Joseph into slavery. The brothers deceived Jacob by faking Joseph's death, for they were jealous of their father's devotion to their youngest brother.
Bridgett has told me on many occasions, "I'm like my father." And if you ask her, she will tell you -- and the bitterness of pain remembered resonates in her words -- how her father "favored Eddie over me."
As she tells it, Marty favored Eddie. Bridgett is like the one person she tells all she's like. Therefore, it was reasonable to conclude that Bridgett would favor one too. She always hated my reasoning.
Isaac favored Esau. Jacob favored Joseph. Marty favored Eddie. Bridgett favors Myles.
Myles' third birthday party was expensive and held at Chuck-E-Cheese. Jacob's third birthday party will be at her place, for what he wants is "too expensive."
You say, "Harrison, you proved nothing with this fable."
Perhaps, one day I'll tell you the story I call "Mommy's Special Time." It's a wee story about two half-brothers. The older brother was taken to the amusement park, the lake, and the theatre, while the younger brother was taken to Wal*Mart.
Perhaps, one day I'll tell you the story I call "Two Fathers." It's a longer story -- its end is yet untold -- about a mother of two half-brothers. Their mother never interferes with her older son's relationship with his father; whereas for her younger son, she often did intrude, so she could exact her vengeance and to give vent to her malice and hatred of his father.
And oh yes, I have quite a tale of Jacob's second birthday party too. It's a quaint story I call "Melusine." But I'll save that one for another day.
Jacob is my first and only born, and I favor him. My blessings are on him, forever and always.
Del Anthony Harrison
January 16, 2006
posted by Tony Harrison at 9:00 PM
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